venerdì 6 agosto 2010

dello spam e altri demoni

Hello my dear (ma ciao).

My name is MISS ROSEMARY DAVIDSON (piacere). I am single (l'informazione è fondamentale!), working in a bank. I need a very Good relationship with you (proprio con me, eh?) and open minded (eccerto) so that we can work together as one family (ti faccio conoscere certe famiglie che so io e poi mi sai dire quanto si lavora bene).

I feel quite safe dealing with you in this business proposition (ah parliamo d'affari? pensavo che volevi darmela come al solito) though, this medium (Internet) has been greatly abused (aaah questo è vero); I chooses (eh?) to reach you through it because it still remains the fastest, easiest, surest and most secured medium of communication (avoglia!). I know that this mail will come to you as a surprise (puoi dirlo forte!) as we have never met before (non mi pare, no). With due respect and regard; I have decided to contact you on a business transaction that will be very beneficial to both of us at the end of the transaction (ma pensa tu che culo che c'ho!!).

During my investigation and auditing in this Bank, in my department I came across a very huge sum of money belonging to one of our deceased foreign customer (requiescat in pace). He died along with his entire family in a plane crash here in africa as they where traveling for Holidays (sfiga). I want to let you know that, this fund has been dormant in his account with this bank without any claim of the fund in our Custody either from his family or relation before my discovery to this development (ma pensa tu che cosa sorprendente!). Although personally, it happened that I am his personal account advisor (ma guarda che incredibile serie di coincidenze!!).

I keep this information secret to my self to enable the whole plans and idea be Profitable and successful during the time of execution, the said amount is Nine million five hundred thousand United States Dollars ( $9.5 Million USD ) (minchia! anche in euro è una simpatica sommetta!), as it may interest you to know, I contacted you to be my partner and person to be reliable and capable to champion a business of such magnitude without any problem (eccerto, sono la persona giusta. lo sai bene proprio perché non ci siamo mai visti né conosciuti, come dicevi prima).

Meanwhile all the arrangement to put claim over this fund as the next of kin to the deceased (che sarei io?? o tu?? mica ho capito), get the required approval and transfer this money to a foreign account has been put in Place and directives and needed information will be relayed to you as soon as you indicate your interest and willingness to assist me and also benefit your self to this great business opportunity (ambè!). In fact I could have done this deal alone (già, ma la tentazione di solare qualcuno è stata più forte) but because of my position in this country as a civil servant and we are not allowed to operate a foreign account and would eventually raise eye brow on my side during the time of transfer because I work in this bank (sì appena appena un conflittuccio di interessi. sicura che stai cercando me e non un certo silvio?).

I will not fail to inform you that this transaction is 100% risk free (come bere un bicchier d'acqua, suppongo), on smooth conclusion of this transaction, you will be entitled to 30% of the total sum as gratification, while 5% will be set aside as a compensation after the transaction has been completed, for the taken care of expenses that was arise during the time of transfer, while 65% will be for me (aaah ingorda!! non dividiamo nemmeno a metà??). Please you have been advised to keep the business to the highest "Top Secret" (sarò una tomba) as I am still in service with the bank and intend to retire from my work with the bank and relocate to your place after we concluded this deal with our bank and the money has been into your account (aaah adesso ho capito. scappi con la cassa e vieni da me, e vissero insieme felici e arricchiti. ganzo!).

Please my dear, with my position as his personal account advisor when he was still alive, both of us can make this fortune come to us, only if you will follow up with every of my guide lines and direction and do what I ask you to do. I will not fail to bring to your notice that, this business is 100% hitch free on both sides and don’t ever have any atom of negative impact (ma nemmeno un singolo atomo, ti rendi conto che culo??). You should not entertain any Fear (maiuscolo!) as all modalities for the smooth and easy transfer of these funds has been finalized before I contacted you (diabolika!). This transaction will be completed within 10 bank working Day immediately you applied to the Bank as relation to the deceased Customer (ah ecco sono io l'erede più prossimo. sarà facilissimo dimostrarlo).

I am given you (ma come scrivi?) every assuarance today that, the source of this money is very legitimate and it dose not have anything to do with money laundering (non lo pensavo! ma che sia 'na sòla, quello umpo', sì) or what so ever of such. I want you to get back to me as soon as possible and also include your personal phone / mobile and fax numbers for easy communication (contaci). It is very important that, you call me as soon as you go through this mail for more directive and guide lines in this transaction (non ti ho ancora chiamato? scusa so' distratto, sto per andare in ferie).

For the safety of this money and the confidentiality needed mostly in this transaction, I will advice you to contact me to this my personal E-Mail Address Id at rosemadavids@(...)

Here is my telephone number where you can reach me with : +225(...) (costa d'avorio!!)

Thanks for your co-operation and understanding.


MISS ROSEMARY. ci sarà mai qualcuno che abbocca?

il blog va in ferie, e pure io. ci rivediamo tra qualche giorno. baci e abbracci :-)

1 commento:

  1. Ah-ah-ah... geniale!!!
    Buone ferie e grazie per il commento, CIAO!!! :-D


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